2 hours ago
One of the things that I often do during therapy is to point out my clients’ self-soothing behaviors. Many of them are not even aware that they are doing them.
When I point them out, they are able to notice that they are getting dysregulated and we often take a break to notice body sensations.
So what do self-soothing behaviors look like? It might be someone grabbing their hair, clearing their throat often, touching certain parts of their body frequently, changing body positions, or playing with their fingers.
It is about paying attention to the things your body is doing to help you stay in your window of tolerance.
Many times we dismiss these behaviors and by the time we notice how we are feeling, we get overwhelmed and it’s a lot harder to calm down.
I play with my hair a lot when I am dysregulated. People that know me well have picked up on this and they know that I need a break. Do you know your body’s signals? And when you notice, it is not so you stop doing them but to do them mindfully.
For me, this will look like ” oh I am grabbing my hair and it feels so soft” and when I notice the softness, I also notice that I like the feeling of it in my fingers. I then begin to notice my breathing changing and my body relaxing.
One last thing, I often see parents asking their children look at them in the eyes when the child is trying to look away. You have a child who is trying to regular by looking away. Looking at you will only add to the dysregulation. Be mindful of this too.
Our body is so wise.. we just need to listen when it’s taking ❤️.
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