3 weeks ago
• deep listening •
The older I get, the more I appreciate brown shades. The wiser we get, the more we stop and listen. I was raised in a conservative culture where children were not allowed to ask questions that challenge adults, we would be punished, caned or beaten whenever we talked back. So I had to keep my mouth shut even though I was accused by adults. Last year @ernest shared to me about deep listening. Deep listening helps to release depressions. Life is happening too fast, and what we want is just to vent. When venting or sharing their feelings is all someone needed, we offer our ears not our tongues. Listen with patience, with compassion, without giving any “advice”. James 1:19: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. “ When we offer deep listening, we will be amazed, by doing so we are helping the inner world of this person to find peace. If we really need to give feedback, hold our horses when others are sharing their feelings, spend few days to fine tune our feedback,find a suitable time to tell them, this softer approach is more effective in helping others. I always know that I have this ego : I found it agitating when, people can’t wait to give me advice, even forcing their thinkings onto me by raising their voice. If I don’t ask for advice, I really don’t need it because all I wanted is to have a listener. It’s even more agitating when people just can’t wait to tell me something that is out of common sense, as if I have no clue about common sense. In life we met people who love talking about themselves and do not know the art of listening. This doesn’t make an effective conversation. An effective conversation is when the message is expressed, the receiver confirmed with the messenger on the meaning of the message. I’m still learning,to be more patience , to be a good listener when friends chose to come to me, do not judge them, do not have to give advice or feedback, just listen, just, listen. Most of the time what we need is just to be listened and be hugged. You’ll be surprised it’s harder to be a listener than being a talker.