2 hours ago
Todays Tree Topic - Leaving Love. I can see why we stay in relationships well over their expiry date. It’s not an easy decision when faced with a decision of love, comfort, validation, security & foresight vs uncertainty, loneliness, pain, helplessness & suffering. To choose the complete unknown over what is familiar and "easy." We also don’t want to hurt the person we love. What will they do without me? What if they get depressed? I don't want to hurt them. If your partner is reliant on you for happiness. That isn't healthy. You make other people weak by being a crutch. You take away their power. The longer you take responsibility for others the longer they will suffer. The best thing we can do for someone we love is let them be responsible for their own life. Even if you don't agree with how they choose to live it. Then comes the questions we don't want to admit we are thinking. What if they find someone else? What if they are actually happier with someone else? Ouch. If they are happier with someone else, isn't that what we always wanted for them anyway? To be happy? Isn't that why we were avoiding leaving in the first place. But then they wouldn’t need us, and, well, it’s kind of nice to be needed. Then we begin to imagine life without them. We’ve built our life around them, friendships, investments, family, hobbies, netflix accounts. We plan a future together. They become part of our identity & not surprisingly, life without them looks kind of glum. Ultimately, we just aren't willing to go through the pain it takes to end it. Even if it's for the best. We have to look beyond the excuses, the potential obstacles, the emotions, the fear, the self-doubt, the pain; beyond all of it. For me, leaving was not a sign of falling out of love, it was a sign of falling in love. Love outside of the validation and the feelings I got from being with her. Love beyond the comfort. Love beyond the attachment. A love beyond the fear of who I would be without her. A love that wanted to see her truly happy, even if it was with someone else. A love worth suffering for. Mmm, that's love.