13 hours ago
Vacillating between states of perception, trying to find my way through time & space.
I feel foolish for constantly questioning my existence, incessantly searching high & low for some rhyme or reason.
If all of life is suffering. & all of suffering stems from attachment. How do we just let go?
Get out of our own way? Put down our life?
For a while, I was having mini DMT ceremonies to cope with ideas about my mortality. I just needed a different perspective, some dissonance, a new reality.
Every ceremony catapulted me into the vastness, forcing me to expand & contract. Fractured, fragmented, shattered.
All the bullshit stories, excuses, assumptions, desires. All of that stuff didn’t exist, didn’t matter so much.
It’s fucking brutal to confront your mortality over & over again. It fucking sucks being young & feeling so old. It fucking blows that hardly anyone can relate to my existence, the heart disease, the terror of dying, the tragedy of living.
It’s fucked up but also maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s all just how it’s supposed to be. Maybe I should just shut up & appreciate being anything at all.
Anyway, after my experiences with psychedelics in therapeutic settings I WHOLEHEARTEDLY see & feel their positive impact.
Life is not some static timeline, it undulates, & flows, & recedes, & bursts, & blooms, & is fucked up but also so beautiful. & we’re all in this crazy thing together. I love you all. & I hope you’re all being bold & wild with your existence because it truly is profound.🍃🤘🏽🌧
#truth #bebold #bewild #dmt #psychedelictherapy #feedyoursoul #fuck #lifeiscrazy #living #dying #heartdisease #chronicillness #chdwarrior #chdawareness #congenitalheartdefect #greatsanddunes #writersofinstagram #viewsfromcolorado #befree